Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
