My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
