I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
