do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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