I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
