i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
