You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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