***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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