SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
