ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
