his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
