I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
