The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
