people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
