I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
