We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm too high and old for this...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
