Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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