I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i think i just lost a toe
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize