You made me cry and you don't even care
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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