I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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