my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
