we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
