Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
