Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
