She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
