You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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