And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
