Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
