The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
