the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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