She is in my trunk
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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