if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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