wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The air taste purple.
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