We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
