Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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