Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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