Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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