he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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