At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
