my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
