These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
