Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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