alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
