so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
