I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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