Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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