I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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