just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
