Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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