i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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