D3 body, D1 cock
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
